I had this dream the other night that would have, in the past, crippled me in fear,
but the funny thing is- this time it didn't.
It did quite the opposite to me-
it gave me a hunger for more exposure in life that makes one feel truly alive.
That dream brought back to life a spark of adventure in my heart that I
had let fear cripple for far too long.
During my first trip overseas something within me died.
As I saw all the pain around me and watched as evil ran rampant, unchecked and unchallenged
my heart began to fear the world- and just how capable at inclined it was to choose evil.
And in the midst of all this evil swirling around me-
I experienced it.
I encountered the pain
I encountered the terror
I encountered the evil first hand
and it paralyzed my hear with this fear that would just not go away.
well... until now!
my dream was simple,
yet it put an end to that fear hidden deep inside
I found myself in this wooded area unfamiliar to me.
There was a stream just in front of me and a few
feet of snow covered the ground.
To my left was a steep bank at which there was a
road at the top.
I was alone and out and about because I couldn't
stand being cooped up in the large "mansion/cabin"
any longer.
As I turn towards the stream I see crossing 3 or 4
massive moose crossing- and fast!
I jump behind a tree~ but my heart is thrilled because
I've had this secret (well maybe its not so secret) longing
to see a moose in the wild.
As they pass straight by my tree- the bull moose sees me
and comes at me- as I'm kneeling there- bull moose nose
in my face- all I can think is- this is awesome- I'm terrified-
and I have no idea what to do!
We sit there - him snorting deeply and angrily at my presence
for what seemed to be a few minutes.
Something startles him and the moose heard runs off.
For a split second I am relieved- until I see what scared off
the moose... a pack of cats. and not the little cats.
Snow leopards, lions, pumas - big cats.
Somehow- I scramble up the bank before they make it to me.
They obviously are not looking to be petted- but rather for a
bite of something fresh and pink.
I am sitting there on this ledge -sort of out of reach- but not
really - absolutely stunned that this is actually happening
when an man calls to me from the other side of the road.
he hurries over and pulls me up and away just before my
leg is caught by one of the cats.
As get back to the cabin- people are all sitting around -
half dazed or sleeping.
My heart saddens at this sight- and I realize, I never want to
become so comfortable with life- that I remain in the "cabin"
My heart saddens at this sight- and I realize, I never want to
become so comfortable with life- that I remain in the "cabin"
At this point, my heart is about to jump out of my chest with
excitement- I just experienced something so terrifying -
and I lived through it!
This dream has become a catalyst to the way that I look at life
Its shifted the way view things in life that are terrifying and crippling to us.
I don't believe anymore that life was ever meant to be safe and perfect-
everything going according to plan if you will.
I think it was meant to be lived more in the raw-
encountering and walking through
the grime and terror and beauty of life
and yet being able to say on the other side-
I LIVED THROUGH THAT!
I experienced that-
and that was AWESOME!
Since when were we meant to live these safe and "perfect" lives?
Seems to me that the more safe our lives are-
the more comatose we become-
walking around like lifeless zombies...
EH! I don't want to kind of life!
I don't want a safe life!
I want a life that is full of things that terrify me-
so that on the other end I can say-
I LIVED THROUGH THAT!
I experienced that!
We are only comforted when we mourn
we are protected only when there is something coming against us
We are rescued only when we need to be rescued.
we are only given food when we are hungry
we are only picked up when we fall down
we only encounter the Lord when place ourselves in a position to encounter Him
What is life worth if we do not encounter Him?
what a bore
what a drag
what a waste
I want to encounter Him!
Im not so much afraid now- to walk through
those times of uncertainty and fear
for that's when I need Him- and that's where I encounter His hands of help!
